Revelations
by BubuzukeOnna
Summary: Shizuru convinces Natsuki to go along on a school trip to her home town of Kyoto. Disclaimer:ShizNat and the HiMEverse are owned by Sunrise
1. Chapter 1

Her eyes scanned the aisles from the front of the bus, pausing momentarily on her friend. The girl was slumped in a back seat, the side of her face smashed up against the window she was gazing out through blankly. It never ceased to amaze her just how bored Natsuki could look, despite the fact that she knew the girl was enjoying herself. She'd have been happier if she'd been allowed to ride her bike instead of being stuck on a bus, but at least this way she had time to enjoy the scenery. Shizuru was simply happy Natsuki had agreed to come along. She finished her head count, checking off the names on her clipboard, and then brought the microphone to her lips.

_I'd like to thank you all for being in your assigned seats on time. The bus driver has informed me that we will be arriving at the hotel in approximately ten minutes._

Squeeling of assorted pitches rose from the seats.

_My, everyone is having a good time, are they not?_

The cheering became louder, and Shizuru smiled softly.

_Seeing as we will be there so shortly, please remain in your places alright?_

She handed the microphone to the bus driver, politely thanking him for it's use. While making her way back to sit by her seemingly bored companion, Shizuru was stopped by voices calling her name. She patiently stopped and answered each one with a smile. Natsuki watched her in the reflection of the bus windows. The queen of etiquette and grace, always knowing just what to say and doing so with a smile. Even when she scolded and reprimanded, she did so with a smile. Natsuki's ears burned slightly, remembering the repetitive teasing that also came with a smile.

_Ara, what a face..._

Startled, Natsuki shifted upright in her seat to let the student council president have more room to sit.

_Sorry._

_You look a bit feverish, are you not feeling well?_

Shizuru's brow slightly creased in concern, and she placed a cool hand to Natsuki's continually reddening cheeks.

_I'm fine, probably just sat up too fast._

Shizuru seemed to consider this a moment, and finding it satisfactory, relaxed into her seat.

Resuming her former slumped position, Natsuki leaned her head against the glass. She took note of the envious eyes in the reflection. They all wanted to be with or _be_ Shizuru. It was well known to her that she had her own gaggle of admirers, but even some of those existed expressly as the result of her mysterious ability to be the only one that Shizuru kept close. There were some days she still didn't quite understand it herself, but it was something she'd come to accept- much as one accepts that the earth circles the sun, or that a rainbow is really just light reflected on water and not something that can be grabbed hold of. More than accept, perhaps, she knew that it was tiring for Shizuru to be constantly around people who treated her as if she were the Emperor's favorite tea cup, if not a kami. People like herself, Reito, and even Haruka were valuable to Shizuru. Though she was the only one that she knew the young woman to have deeper feelings for. It was that bit, her proclaimed love, that was what was truly incomprehensible. It was easy to see how someone could be in love with Shizuru- she was beautiful, well spoken, intelligent, mild mannered yet powerful, and born to a wealthy family. She was everything a good man could hope to marry, and a starry eyed school girl could hope to be. As for herself, she was reckless, insubordinate, smart but without patience to study, all she could cook were instant meals, and she might even use the back of her sleeve to wipe her mouth should her slurping get too out of hand. A decent body and face surely weren't enough to make up for all that?

Above the buzzing of her thoughts, and the rush of the world flying past her, she could hear the lyrical sound of the woman's Kyoto accent conversing with another underclassman. Letting her eyes slip back to the reflection, she watched her friend's lips move slowly, gently, and deliberately. Her words were never hurried, she spoke the way she drank tea. Natsuki felt a slight twinge of tightness in her chest, blood slowly coming to color her cheeks once more. She found herself imagining each word as something delicious, to be sipped and savored. The longer she stared at the young woman's lips, the delicate flip of a wrist while expressing a thought, the more heated she felt her complexion become. She wanted to look away, but she found herself unable to tear her gaze. Why had she agreed to go on this trip anyhow, she wondered. Just as the feeling in her chest was becoming unbearably confusing and painful, the bus came to a stop.

Shizuru's expression became dark when she turned and noted that Natsuki looked no less feverish than ten minutes ago.

_Natsuki, you don't look well at all... don't move until I have everyone else off of the bus._

She gave the dark haired girl a firm look, and then walked to the front and off of the bus.

It took another fifteen minutes to assemble everyone, pair them up with the correct luggage from under the bus, and then read to them their respective room assignments. Shizuru designated a room leader to each room to be responsible for accepting and turning in the room key from the front desk upon check in and check out. Natsuki should have been collecting herself, but instead found herself staring out the window down at her smiling friend, and blushing at comparing the woman to engine oil in her mind. Everything ran smoothly when she was around, everything but Natsuki. She watched as Shizuru waved the last student into the lobby, her smile melting as soon as she turned around, replaced by a furrowed brow of concern. Natsuki thought she would like to see those things all the time, the real looks, the real feelings. She wanted it ever more deeply, as upon reaching the top step of the bus the small gentle smile had returned.

_Ara, How cute Natsuki looks even when she's in such a bad way._

I told you, I'll be fine. You shouldn't worry about me so much, I've always managed to take care of myself.

So you have... I had one of the boys take our luggage inside. It will probably be upstairs by the time we get there. Shall we?

Sounds good to me.

Natsuki evaded Shizuru's held out hand, and used the back of the chair in front of her to leverage herself into a standing position. Her legs were sore and tight from sitting for so long. She slung her pack over her shoulder, and followed the other girl off the bus. The cool breeze that met her outside was welcome. She closed her eyes and stood still on the edge of the walkway, breathing deeply.

_I think Natsuki will like it here._

Shizuru tried not to blush as she watched her friend's chest rise and fall, appearing to devour the evening air.

_Yea, I'm pretty excited to see this place. You grew up here huh?_

Until I was eleven. I've come for periodic visits since then.

Do I get to see your family home?

Would Natsuki like such a thing?

Sure, I'm a little curious.

We'll see then.

It's cool if we don't, don't worry about it... maybe that's kind of a weird thing to ask...

Natsuki flipped her long dark hair back over one of her shoulders, and shifted uncomfortably.

_No, I don't think it is. Let's get upstairs though, I'd like to be sure you get some rest. Tomorrow we can think about more travel._

Natsuki nodded, and the two girls made their way into the lobby.

_Fujino-sama_

The gentleman behind the counter bowed.

_Your father left this message for you, and of course, your key._

Again bowing, the man held out a white envelope and an electric key card with the emblem of the hotel printed upon it. Shizuru nodded and thanked him. Natsuki was slightly put off by the reverential treatment her friend seemed to be receiving even outside the confines of the academy. When she was outside of Fuuka spending time with Natsuki, she was in Natsuki's world. She was just another girl among thousands of girls. Here, Natsuki was in her world. Somehow she perceived it as simultaneously magical and oppressing. Not oppressing for her, but for her friend. Her mind again wandered and this time finally seemed to grasp exactly what it was that she gave Shizuru. With a small smile, she let herself careen into Shizuru, bumping her slightly.

_OH, So sorry Fujino-sama!_

Shizuru's head tilted slightly, looking puzzled at Natsuki from the corner of her eyes. She said nothing, and continued walking. This time Natsuki knocked into her with such force that she nearly lost her footing. Warm maple colored eyes opened wide in surprise at the near fall, and then at the hand on her wrist holding her upright.

_Fujino-sama, are you alright, jeez... I'm so sorry!_

Natsuki Kuga, you're teasing me! Can this be right?

ARA... I have NO idea whatsoever of what you speak!

Shizuru felt herself blush, and begin to laugh a little.

_Oh, well in that case...Fujino-sama is going to KICK YOUR ASS!_

Before Natsuki could blink, she found herself nearly falling to the floor. She caught her footing, however, and began to run full speed down the hallway. Shizuru chased after her, both girls laughing when they had enough breath for it.

Flopping down in front of the door to their room, her hair tangled and bangs flying every which way, Shizuru yelled down the hallway to the still running Natsuki.

_Is it the roof you intend to sleep on? Or don't you know where you're going?_

A tired Natsuki returned from the end of the hall. She leaned against the door above Shizuru.

_Nah, I'm definitely sleeping in a bed tonight. _

Shizuru was glad her face was already flushed, as the sight of Natsuki disheveled and breathing heavily, on top of the mention of the word bed, sent a shock straight through her entire body. She took a deep breath, and rose to her feet. She turned the handle as the light flickered from the sliding of the electric keycard. Taking note of their luggage by the closet, Shizuru moved to sit at the desk and read the note that her father had left.

_Oh yea, this is what I'm talking about._

Natsuki lay face down on the bed, not seeming to have yet noticed that there was only one in the room. After a moment, she pushed herself off and wandered to the window.

_Wow, this view is amazing. Will we get to go see some of the mountains around this place?_

_Of course, many of the famous temples are there._

_Good. I wish I had my bike..._

Her green eyes looked wistfully out onto the dusk painted city.

Like a puppy just arriving in a new home, Natsuki began to investigate every corner of the room. She peered into drawers, flipped on and off all the switches, rummaged through the cabinets in the bathroom, and gasped at the shower and tub, turning on and off the faucets for good measure. From her seat by the desk, Shizuru watched this with a terrible amount of amusement.

_And? Is everything to your satisfaction, Kuga-san?_

Natsuki's fingers tucked a few stray strands of hair behind her ear.

_Ahaha... sorry, habits. I like to know the lay out, and make sure everything works I guess._

Shizuru smiled and nodded.

_So, what did your father have to say? You said you're not real close with your family when we talked about it before.._

The flaxen haired girl nodded.

_We've been speaking more, trying to... repair things. We were all a bit of a mess before..._

Her voice trailed off.

_Mm... sorry to have brought up something painful..._

_No, no, it's alright. He just wants me to stop by home for a visit, so it looks like you'll get to see my family home after all._

Oh? Are you sure it would be alright with them if I came too? Did he say you could bring someone with you?

A dark shadow seemed to pass over the eyes of Fuuka's ever calm and confidant Kaichou.

_It would be asking you too much, wouldn't it? Of course you don't have to come, Natsuki_.

Shizuru's gaze shifted upward, the shadow passing out of view, replaced by the same warm gentle smile that replaced so many other hardly perceptible storms. Natsuki realized it wasn't a friendly gesture to let her come along, but that Shizuru was quietly begging her to stay at her side.

_Don't be stupid, I wouldn't pass this up. You probably live in a mansion or something, I could sell tickets to this story._

Relief, very slightly crept it's way into the girl's crimson eyes.

_Methinks you're learning bad things from spending time with Tokiha and Harada-san ..._

You might be right about that

Natsuki thought she might be picking up some other things from Chie Harada that Shizuru wasn't accounting for. Feeling the need for a wall to bang her head against, she excused herself expressing the need for a shower after their run.

Showers seemed like such a luxury. The water cascaded down her face, filling her mouth, and then spilling back out again. It felt wonderful pounding down on her scalp and shoulders. She'd hoped that this would clear her mind, but her mind just kept wandering over the other thoughts she'd been having all day. Shizuru's lips... her calm, her control...how much those shadows of chaotic thought and emotion playing across the young woman's face made her feel...what was she feeling? The pain in her chest was back, but she wasn't sure if it was really pain or if it felt good. Pushing her hair away from her face, Natsuki began to wish that Shizuru could have just told her she wanted her there when she went to visit her family.

_Please forgive me_

Natsuki's eyes snapped open at the image of Shizuru begging for forgiveness that had found its way to the front of her mind. Her heart was beating quickly... why did she just think of that now. Why did it make her feel this way? She held a hand over her heart, and tried to make it slow. Her thoughts, however, were persistent. Finding herself ill equipped to battle such unfamiliar emotions, she had but to endure them and the accompanying thoughts.

Natsuki had passing fancies. She didn't want things. She didn't have uncontrollable urges for anything outside of cute lingerie, biking gear, and other frivolous material things. But more so than she'd ever wanted any of those things, she found herself uncontrollably focused on that blushing face. On that vulnerable face that needed her. It dawned on her more fully, that as much as she'd needed the kindness that Shizuru and the others had shown her. Shizuru needed _her_. Not only that, but she found herself enjoying the thought. In other people, that would have made her scoff, it would have been a weakness. In this woman, though, who was always so strong and composed...she found herself filled with longing and compassion...and... violence? She wanted to tear away at these constructs, obliterate those gentle smiles, reduce her to a teenage girl and nothing more. That's why Shizuru liked to be with her, because that was how Natsuki treated her.- as a normal human being, no better or different than any other. A girl and a friend. Natsuki wanted to destroy her as Kaichou.. as Fujino-sama, and then hold her as Shizuru... and... kiss her...

_Shizuru, I forgot to grab a bar of soap... will you get one for me?_

Hesitantly, the girl stepped into the bathroom. She found an unopened package of soap, and ripped off the paper. Natsuki slid the shower door open and held out a hand expectantly. Shizuru stretched her arm out to hand over the bar of soap, but gasped at the unexpectedly tight grip around her wrist that pulled her into the shower. Confused, she tried to gain footing, but slipped. Instead of falling she felt an arm wrap itself around her waist pulling her up. As soon as her feet leveraged ground, she found herself pressed between the shower wall and a very naked Natsuki. She opened her mouth to speak, but before she could ask her head smacked lightly against the tiles on the wall. She was pinned so tightly, steam from the shower rising thickly around her, and locked in a kiss so ferocious that she found herself unable to breath. Her eyes closed and rolled back, partly from the light headed feeling of being near to passing out, and partly from pleasure. She gasped when Natsuki pulled back from the kiss, only to gasp again as she felt the kiss move from her lips to her neck. She moaned softly as she felt the pressure of teeth pulling at her skin.

_Natsuki..._

She felt a hand slap over her mouth, forcing her quiet.

_I didn't get a say then. You don't get a say now. Understood?_

Shizuru was too overwhelmed to be sure she understood anything, yet she nodded. She moaned again into Natsuki's hand as she felt her ear lobe being pulled into the mouth of the latter, slowly sucked and bitten. Once the hand was removed, it was replaced by another kiss. This time deep and sensual. The water still running down Natsuki's face passed from one mouth to the other- warm, coppery, sweet. Water logged, the red tie pulled easily away from her neck, it was more difficult for Natsuki to pull away from the kiss.

_Hands._

Shizuru lifted her arms up from her sides, and held them in front of her chest. The dark haired girl kissed them, before wrapping the long red cloth around her wrists. She had no idea what she was doing, only that she wanted this so badly she could only just keep going. Seeing the beautiful student council president, confused and willing to do anything she asked made her desire all the worse. She pulled the red tie to her own chest, dragging Shizuru toward her with it, and used the other hand to push the girl's bangs out of her eyes. Glancing upwards, she pulled the girls hands up to where she was gazing, and tied the remaining cloth to the shower head.

_Don't break that._

Shizuru nodded again. Natsuki cupped her hands around the Kyoto-belle's flushed cheeks.

_I hope you have another one of these outfits_.

Her expression was for a moment apologetic, before turning to hard resolve. Hands slid from Shizuru's face, to her chest, and in a matter of seconds her shirt hung open. The shower rang with the echoes of buttons bouncing off tile. Shizuru shook slightly as she felt lips caressing her chest, her stomach, the pull of teeth at the button of her skirt. Not being able to touch the person kissing her was torture, but she'd given her silent consent for this. She wanted it. 


	2. Chapter 2

Natsuki had one prior experience with "this kind of thing". His name was Shoji, and they were five years old. After a brief courting, mostly composed of toy cars, plastic figurines, and candy, Shoji decided to plant a nice wet kiss on the unsuspecting object of his affections. Unfortunately for Shoji, the object of his affections was none too pleased about the development. And while at the tender age of five, the boy's kissing prowess may not have been up to par, Natsuki's round house was. Ever since, she'd been at best vaguely curious, and namely mildly apathetic toward the entire subject.

This apathy coupled with her headstrong personality had led to many suspicions and rumors. So occupied with her plans for revenge, she had barely ever taken notice to what other people thought of her. Thus, learning that she was thought to fancy girls came as quite a surprise to her. At the time she had bristled from the accusation, but it was more from the wish that people would simply leave her alone than from anything inherent in the claim. Such things just rarely crossed her mind, she didn't have time for them. Romance, attraction, flirting, such things were the luxury of other people. People with less pressing matters then the hunting and extermination of organizations that killed young girl's mothers.

The circumstances under which Shizuru's feelings became known to her were so completely overwhelming. Everything was falling apart then. So many secrets revealed, so many new questions, so many feelings, and all of its oppression seeming vain. They'd all felt the weight of what was surely the end of their lives crushing down on them. Even during those last few days, so many things in Natsuki's perception had changed. Finding feelings of friendship and gratitude that she'd been too consumed to notice before. The ripples of change brought on from those nightmarish times were still running their course in her now somewhat normal life. She had time to relax and enjoy simple things, to follow her more impromptu thoughts to their conclusions, and experience all of her feelings fully instead of brushing them aside. It wasn't something that came very naturally to her anymore, assuming it ever had. Recalling some of the moments of her childhood even before she'd lost her mother, she decided it was likely she'd always had a little trouble. Comprehending her own emotions much less those of others was something that just came a bit more slowly for Natsuki. Tact, diplomacy, empathy- at least she had the best to learn from, she often thought. Who better than Mai and Shizuru? Though it seemed a bit funny to learn such things from the same persons as would be the recipients of its intended use.

What had come to puzzle and occupy Natsuki's mind for quite some time were her friendships with Mai and Shizuru. More specifically, her feelings for the two girls. There was a difference in the way she felt about Mai, and the way she felt about Shizuru. She couldn't delineate precisely where the difference lay, but she knew there was one. Cursed emotions, and their inability to be understandable and orderly. She wondered what it was that Shizuru felt for her. Was it the same? Or was it different? And, if it was different, how was it different? What was love? How did she know that what she felt wasn't love? She'd never been in love before, and she wondered how she would know that what she was feeling was love once she had fallen.

With the warmth of her friend's skin pressed firmly against her own, she felt she was beginning to find some of the answers.

That tight feeling in her chest, the way her middle jumped and fluttered as if she were doing acrobatic stunts on her bike, the goose-flesh as every nerve seemed to be electrified with expectancy, the painful desire to be closer though no further closeness could be afforded save the ability to occupy the same space... could these things be something like love?

Only the jacket and buttonless shirt remained, unable to be completely removed while the young woman's hands were bound above her head. After pushing the skirt and undergarments to the side, Natsuki leaned her head against Shizuru's thigh to catch balance. The steam and kneeling were making her feel slightly dizzy. She pushed herself up slowly, marveling at the pleasant friction of wet skin sliding against wet skin. The side of her lips and cheek glided smoothly over Shizuru's navel, stopping a moment to watch the drops of water separate and run different courses guided by near invisible fine hairs. Things one never noticed on their own bodies, Natsuki was being fascinated by now on Shizuru's. Her eyes strayed upwards to the face of her captive. The girls' head was hung, her eyes closed. Hair now dark with wetness, framed the perfect face. Water dripped from thick black lashes, and lips appeared red as strawberries. She slid the rest of the way to her full height, bringing a hand up to run a thumb along the curve of the girls' jaw line. The thick lashes parted, revealing eyes whose pupils were dilated like giant black discs ringed by irises that in the low light were the rich color of melted truffles. Brows arched questioningly, pleadingly. The look sent shivers through Natsuki's body. Pressing closer she wrapped her arms around Shizuru's waist, and buried her face in the girls neck. Sweet metallic water mingled with the scent of perfume that lingered there. Forever, she was sure she could stay like this forever.

Placing her lips over Shizuru's ear she offered the only calming words she could think of.

_Trust me_

Shizuru's response was a barely audible whisper.

_Always_

Fingers curling through the hair at the nape of Shizuru's neck, pulled her into another kiss. Seeing how long each could go before taking a breath, as water continued to pour down on their heads became a game. Once or twice someone nearly choked by gasping in water, resulting in short bursts of laughter. Those shortly ceased, however, as Natsuki found her hands wandering. They traversed neck, shoulder, chest, over and around the smooth curve of a breast. Natsuki circled her thumb around the nipple she felt rise and harden at her touch. She could feel Shizuru's muscles tense, and then her own at the sound of the whimper that interrupted their kiss.

The game then became to make that sound repeat. She brought her remaining hand to test the other side. Finding it had the same effect almost caused her to grin. She began to kiss and nibble her way down the same path her hand had taken. Letting her tongue circle where her thumb had before, teasing and flicking lightly, before taking the nipple and sucking, pressing it gently between her teeth. She rolled the other between a thumb and forefinger. The sounds Shizuru was making were making it difficult to remain upright. Her heart was pounding, and her legs were beginning to feel weak. Natsuki kissed her way to Shizuru's hips, before again rising to her full height. Reaching above, she pulled loose the red tie. Shizuru's arms fell to her sides, and Natsuki took the opportunity to push the Jacket and shirt off of her shoulders. They fell heavily and hit the ground with a loud slosh. Kicking the remaining clothes to the side, she spun Shizuru to face the shower wall, grabbing her wrists and pinning them flat against the tiles.

The now completely nude Shizuru allowed herself to be moved without complaint or resistance. Her back glistened cream colored against the white tiles of the shower, small constellations made of dark freckles spanned across the backs of her shoulder blades. Her hands gripped at the tiles as she felt Natsuki's breast against her back, and the tongue and lips making their way down from her neck. She gasped as hands pressed firmly against her ass, and then her thighs. Never ending waves of sensation pulsed through her body, causing it to quiver uncontrollably. Moans and sighs escaped her lips. An attempt was made to try to muffle them by turning her face into her arm, but they still sounded incredibly loud to her. In the brief moments she could bite her lip, she heard Natsuki's labored breathing and soft sighing above the sound of the still rushing water. She tried to remain quiet just to hear it, but between the mouth on her lower back, and the fingers that had just found their way between her legs she was unable. She flattened herself against the wall to give space to turn, and then spun around to face her jade eyed aggressor.

Natsuki unexpectedly found herself pulled up and into a kiss, but she wasn't about to lose control. She quickly grasped Shizuru's wrists and pinned them to the wall, pulling her head back from the kiss.

_I'll tie you up again._

There was some struggle, but seeing that Natsuki was quite serious, the student council president again relinquished. When satisfied that the girl would not be making any more surprise moves, she spun her back around to face the wall. This time however, she knelt and slid herself between the wall and the girl leaning against it. She let her hands glide over the silk smooth legs, and began to kiss along the inside of one of the thighs. She nudged the other leg with a shoulder for Shizuru to widen her stance. The young woman complied with a whimper. The whimpers became moans, and the moans louder, the higher up Natsuki's mouth travelled. She wasn't sure exactly how it was supposed to work, but she found herself moving naturally as if it were like a trail she had done so many times she could now do so blindfolded. Her fingers parted the warm moist hair and skin between Shizuru's legs, and let her tongue slide between. Surprised, she found it tasted slightly sweet and tart. Slowly she explored- the smooth sides, the small round clitoris, the rough area just before the sink deeper inside. Listening carefully to the girl's moans, she let her tongue slide from front to back slowly and rhythmically- applying pressure along the way to find what reactions she would get- staying longer in places that elicited heavier breathing or louder moans. Soon she found that Shizuru's hips were rocking in rhythm with her tongue. When she sped up, so did Natsuki. She found herself having an inordinate amount of fun experimenting to please the older girl. When she felt hands grasping at her scalp, she made no move to put them back against the wall. An overwhelming feeling of power and giddiness washed over her as she realized that despite having no clue what she was doing, she seemed to be doing something right. She took Shizuru into her mouth the way she'd taken the nipple earlier, and flicked her tongue lightly and quickly. Legs began to shake, and the grip on her hair tightened. She was sure there would be a loud cry or moan, but there was nothing as the other girl fell to her knees.

Natsuki slid to a sitting position, back against the wall. She could see Shizuru's shoulder's shaking, and realized that she was crying. Alarmed, she pulled the girl into her arms and asked if she was ok. There was no reply.

Standing, she turned the faucets off, and pulled a towel from where they lay folded to wrap around the shoulders of the shivering Shizuru. She picked the girl up off of the bottom of the shower and carried her into the other room, setting her in a chair momentarily to pull down the covers to the bed. Once in the bed she pulled the comforter up, and wrapped her arms around the still shaking girl. She wiped at the tears that streamed down her most important person's face.

_I didn't mean to make you cry... did I do something wrong?_

Natsuki felt horrible and unsure of what to do, but to hold her friend. Maybe this had been a mistake...

_No. Please no, Natsuki... that was..._

Shizuru's cheeks flushed more than they already were.

_I can't stop... I don't know why I'm crying... or shaking... I don't know. That was the first time...that was... my... first time...Natsuki did nothing wrong...it felt really good _

She buried her face into Natsuki's arm.

_really? that was mine too... I guess..._

_But, I didn't even do anything for Natsuki..._

It was Natsuki's turn to blush.

_Oh... you did... Trust me._

_...Always..._

Thinking back to earlier they both turned red, and smiled. Natsuki leaned and kissed the forehead uncharacteristically sporting very messy bangs. She was glad that Shizuru was ok, more than glad really. She never thought something like this would be nice- holding someone. But Shizuru's warm naked body fit her own, interlocking puzzle pieces. It felt right. If this was love, Natsuki thought, she might not mind it that much after all. 


	3. Chapter 3

A knock at the door stirred her from her slumber. It took a moment for her to register where she was. Memories of the day before came flooding into her mind. She looked beside her, the space was empty. No light in the bathroom. Maybe the person at the door was Shizuru, but Shizuru should have the key. Where had the girl gone...?

Groaning and stretching, Natsuki pushed herself from off of the bed. She fished a pair of jeans and a t-shirt out of her bag, slipping them on to answer the door.

Outside was a woman holding a tray with tea, rice, miso, and a small rolled omelette. The smell drifted into Natsuki's nostrils, and her stomach grumbled softly.

Nodding a bow, the woman brought the tray into the room. Having set it on the table, she reached into her pocket.

_I was asked to give this to you also._

The woman held out her hand. In the out-stretched palm rested a piece of paper that had been meticulously folded into a flower. Thin and delicate, she could see there was writing on it.

_Thank you._

After Natsuki had taken the note, the woman bowed and left.

Had last night really happened? It must have. She set the note on the table, and dropped into the chair. Minutes passed as she stared at it. It was obviously from Shizuru. It couldn't be bad, it was in the shape of a flower...right? Hesitantly she reached for it again, and began to carefully unfold the petals.

_  
Please forgive my absence. Natsuki looked so adorable in her sleep, I did not have the heart to wake her. I wish I could stay to make you tea myself, but there is much to attend to with Yamato-sensei._

_I hope you will enjoy the breakfast, I am having it sent one hour before we leave for Nishi-Honganji and Higashi-Honganji. Be sure to be in the lobby on time._

_Shizuru_

Natsuki let her shoulders relax, and breathed a small sigh of relief. Of course, Shizuru had to help Yamato-sensei. Her stomach gurgled again. She seemed to have worked up quite an appetite, and spent the rest of morning rosy cheeked remembering how that had come to be.

She had seen Shizuru enter the Amida Hall and followed. The tatami mats in the hall felt nice on her bare feet in comparison to the rather coolish wooden steps that led to it. Fragrant incense hung sweetly in the air. Shizuru rested on her knees in front of the room's altar. The plastic bag carrying her shoes sat beside her. It made crinkling noises as she bent forward, moving her hands out in front of her, and then rising back up pressing her palms together once more. Natsuki folded her arms and shifted her weight to one of her legs, watching for a moment. She waited until Shizuru completed the third and final bow, marveling at how she seemed to fit in a room like this. The gilded altars, colorful wooden sculptures and cloth; ornate, delicate, warm, and just a bit imposing.

Gentle eyes stared up and smiled when they noticed she had moved to stand beside them. Natsuki knelt by her, placing her own shoe bag on her lap.

_I haven't been to a temple in years._

_ You're about to make up for those years in the span of a few days._

She covered her mouth and laughed at her friend's expression, then continued with her thought.

_ When I have time, I like to visit. Always on holidays as well, of course._

Silently, Shizuru studied the face of Amida Buddha. Natsuki watched quietly out of the corner of her eye. What was she thinking? After a moment, the girl spoke as if she'd heard the question.

_He looks so peaceful. I wonder what that feels like._

_Yea, must be nice..._

_I'm lucky there is Amida Buddha...after..._

_You really think there's a 'Pure Land'? That someday we'll all be enlightened and happy there?_

_It sounds good at least, don't you think?_

_Mm, it does..._

_...I'm a horrid Buddhist even without the things I've done. I'd still want, I'd still be selfish in my heart._

_I don't know...you seem to have the compassion thing down at least?_

Shizuru blushed, and watched as Natsuki pursed her lips. The younger girl's eyebrows drew together and lines creased her forehead, as she too stared at Amida Buddha. She looked to be trying so hard to rip some kind of answer to an unspoken question from his image that Shizuru had to laugh. Natsuki glared.

_I'm being serious, you know._

_Natsuki is always serious._

_And you're always making everything into a joke!_

_I like to see you smile!_

_...I like to know what you're really thinking._

_Sou ka..._

Not having expected that answer, Shizuru turned her eyes back to the altar. Both girls stared ahead, not really looking, saying nothing, lost in their own thoughts. Small graceful fingers tucked a long strand of light brown hair behind an ear. Hesitantly she asked what had been on her mind all morning.

_Natsuki...are you sure this is what you want?_

She gave a meaningful look to be sure the other girl knew to what she was referring.

_No._

Shizuru's eyes closed.

_That's something I'll have to find out by waiting and seeing._

Unsure of what that meant exactly, the older girl remained quiet.

_Shizuru...you know before we met, I didn't have anyone. All I wanted was to be alone, and to find out who took my mom from me._

_This...all of this- friends, fun, laughing, trips... everything is new. And so... now I have a real life, and I don't know what I want from anything. I don't know what I want to do, where I want to go..._

_Before... I had these temporary things I wanted, and I just did them without thinking. I didn't care what happened to me or anyone else... now I do.. I do care. Now I have a life, and reasons to live it. I have you to thank for a lot of that..._

_So... I feel... if it's ok, if it won't hurt you... can we just..._

Shizuru placed a hand on Natsuki's.

_I understand what you're trying to say._

Natsuki released a relief filled sigh.

_Natsuki doesn't need to worry, she can't lose me. It has hurt as much as it is going to already long before now. We can 'wait and see' as you say, and if you find you can't do this and want to stop- I will endure it. I would die a thousand deaths if it was for Natsuki's sake._

Green eyes searched the loving expression bewildered. The look on the girl's face reminded her of something. Her eyes turned back to stare at the statue on the alter. She wrapped her fingers around the hand Shizuru had placed on her own and squeezed.

_I think you're wrong about one thing..._

_Namu Shizuru Butsu_

* * *

_Author's Notes:_

Amida Buddha is said to be a prior incarnation of Siddhartha Gautama. He was a Bodhisattva that refused to become a Buddha unless he could grant happiness in the Pure Land to anyone who called his name. (I almost see a kind of parallel to Christ) ... also kind of why I think Shizuru would favor him... that even after killing and her 'selfish' worldly desire for Natsuki (and tea!) there is a figure still offering forgiveness and happiness.

Namu 'nameofaBuddha' Butsu is like a prayer or invocation (nembutsu)

I think the temples are being renovated right now, but for the sake of 'fiction' it's totally open in the HiMEverse lol


	4. Chapter 4

Cup of tea number 5 slowly made it's way to be pressed against lips and drained. This was the only sign that Natsuki had from her friend that all was not well. The girl wasn't complaining. She wasn't pacing or wringing her hands. She wasn't doing anything that people ordinarily do when they're nervous. Instead, she sat calmly and quietly behind the steam. But she was bottoming sencha like a chain smoker, and missing opportunities to tease. Natsuki understood that this is what fear and stress looked like when it came to Shizuru.

_Is this ok?_

Crimson eyes slowly came to focus on her, back from the netherworld into which they had been staring. They smiled.

_Natsuki is beautiful._

_You're the one who picked it out, and...did this_

Natsuki touched lightly at her hair which was pulled back into a twist held up by an ivory comb. After visiting a few more temples, they had stopped with the Gion-san and let the students peruse the shopping area in the Gion district until quite late. There they had found a shop selling beautiful Yukata. Shizuru mentioned her father was fond of traditional dress, and so Natsuki suggested that they wear Yukata when they visited. If it would put Shizuru's father in good spirits, she had a feeling that would make her friend feel a bit more at ease. She knew next to nothing about Shizuru's past or family, but she knew enough about Shizuru to know the girl was definitely worried about it despite her seemingly impregnable stoicism.

People slowed in passing, trying not to appear to stare at the two girls as they made their way down to the lobby. She'd be loathe to admit to it, but Natsuki enjoyed to wear things like Yukata. Clouds heavy with rain rolling overhead on a stormy day, glowing a shade of blue that was at once warm and cold. That was the color that adorned her. Underneath which her skin contrasted starkly, smooth and pale. The obi had an equally luminous quality, it's color hard to define. Shizuru had said that it reminded her of piles of autumn leaves. _Like cherry blossoms in spring, is it not remarkable how beautiful something can seem... though it's time has past, and will soon blow away with the wind..._, she had said. _Sold!_, had been Natsuki's response. Couldn't pass up a philosophical Yukata (or perhaps it was because it was blue and pretty, much as her brutally murdered lingerie collection use to be).

Shizuru's Yukata was a shade just slightly more green than bamboo. Thin pink and white cranes sailed across the cloth. Their rosy pink was brought out by the Obi which mirrored the color exactly. Her hair was pulled back similarly to Natsuki's, and it glistened honey in the setting sun. Her chest was beginning to feel tight and tickled again, she let herself fall back a step. It was hard to do as Shizuru's steps were always slow, measured, and graceful. If it weren't for the light click of sandals on cement, one might believe the girl to be floating in the air. Would there be a time this feeling would stop? It made her heart pound in her ears, and she swore that every person within arms reach must be able to hear it. Over the sound of blood, a battering ram in her head, she could hear the chatting of people passing by. It was strange to hear them all sound like Shizuru. The lyrical banter was a pleasant, if strange, sound. Though it wasn't helping.

A car glided to a stop in front of where Shizuru stood. From inside an older gentleman appeared, he bowed and then grinned from ear to ear. Natsuki wondered if that could be Shizuru's father.

_Shizuru-sama, you are as lovely as ever._

_And Nishimura-san is too kind, as always_

She turned to introduce Natsuki, but found her several paces back from where she expected.

_Has Natsuki changed her mind about going?_

_Ahaha... no, I just... lost a sandal_

She pretended to adjust her foot, and moved forward to where Shizuru and Nishimura were standing.

_Nishimura, this is a friend of mine Kuga Natsuki._

The old man nodded with a smile, and bowed.

_Hajime Mashite Kuga-san._

Natsuki greeted the man in return as Shizuru explained that he was a long time and beloved servant of the Fujino family. He chuckled as he opened the car doors and ushered the girls inside.

_I have known Shizuru-sama since she was born, I am very proud to work for the Fujino household. Maybe some day I will hold Shizuru's children! Two generations! Just imagine, just imagine..._

He continued to smile and muse to himself as he closed the door, and took his own seat.

_Nishimura-san, give me time ne? I am still only 17 after all. How you retain such a jovial disposition after working with my father all these years, I will never know._

_Your father is a great man Shizuru-sama, he has always been kind to us._

He fell silent as he looked over his shoulder to pull into traffic. Once settled, he began again hesitantly.

_He's very excited to see you this time. Since he came back from his last trip to visit Tokyo he seems changed in ways._

_Does he..._

Shizuru looked out the window, the usual placid and blank expression falling over her.

_Mm, so he does, so he does! I am sure he will be quite surprised and happy to see two beautiful ladies have come to visit._

The corner of her mouth drew up into a slight smile while thinking that Natsuki was with her. She felt a cool touch on her hand, and fingers slide between her own. She glanced to the seat beside her. Natsuki looked like a doll some craftsman had spent years painstakingly painting to perfection. Lips mouthed the words _don't worry_. Shizuru's grip on Natsuki's hand tightened. She was trying her best to appear non-chalant, yet somehow her friend was becoming better at reading her. Not so long ago, this girl wouldn't have noticed if a sign were waved in front of her face. She really was growing, and Shizuru felt happy to be able to see it. Was she too slowly changing, and how?

For the duration of the car ride they held hands quietly, listening as Nishimura hummed softly along to music on the radio. The sun continued to sink lower in the distance. Kyoto seemed such a peaceful place, even with all of the people and things to do. It just had a different feel to it than Tokyo. This impression became stronger as they moved into a more rural area. Before long they pulled into large driveway. A fence lined the edges of a garden, with a gate allowing inside. Grey stones formed a pathway through the garden, leading up to a rather large but traditional looking home. The end of the path sent them through another small gate at the front of the house, and into an entryway. Here they left their sandals and shoes, and donned slippers.

The inside of the house was simple and traditional. Natsuki watched Shizuru and Nishimura bow to a small Kamidana set high on the wall. A small figurine of Buddha sat upon it, along side flowers, grains of rice, and incense. She thought for moment, what could it hurt? Placing her hands together, she bowed along with them.

Nishimura led them on a small tour of the main areas of the home. Supposedly it was for Natsuki's sake, though he seemed to enjoy having the opportunity to prattle on to the unexpected visitor. Most of the furnishings were plain white and dark wood. Only the entry to the dining area contained sliding door panels with delicate paintings of bamboo and birds. There were many organic shaped pots in earthy tones holding beautiful plants and flowers. Natsuki felt relief at seeing a television set in a room they passed through, having begun to wonder if she hadn't accidently taken a step back in time. Toward the rear of the house, a door was slid open to reveal a porch overlooking a small river. Leaves rustling in the wind harmonized with the sound of rushing water.

A woman rose to her feet from where she'd been sitting.

_Okasan._

Shizuru greeted her mother with a bow. The woman wore a simple Yukata that was light gray with a pattern of charcoal grey vines and leaves, and a charcoal grey obi. She was about the same height and stature as Shizuru. There were no wrinkles or signs of age in her face, but the silver of her hair attested to her years.

_The older you get, the more you look like your father..._

Her eyes strayed toward Natsuki, who bowed respectfully.

_What a lovely girl you've brought along. Don't be rude Shizuru, and introduce us._

_Of course Okasan, this is Kuga Natsuki a Kohai at Fuuka, and my dear friend. Natsuki this is my Okasan._

_ It's an honor to meet you Fujino-sama._

_Ara.. how adorable your friend is. It's a pleasure to meet you also Kuga-san._

Natsuki's face must have turned several shades of red, because both Shizuru and her mother were placing their hands over their mouths and struggling not to giggle aloud. _Who the hell says, Ara in that way? Really?! _ Natsuki grumbled and lamented in her mind.

Shizuru's mother invited them to sit, and made idyll chit chat with Natsuki while Shizuru quietly watched. She thanked Natsuki profusely in her head. It wasn't long before Shizuru's father arrived home from work. The man was a bit taller than her Shizuru, but the likeness was indeed as amazing as implied. It was the deep crimson eyes, and soft gentle features. The smiles were mirror images, aside from a slightly more rugged jaw line that gave him a handsome masculine appearance. He looked more his age than the girl's mother, however, with small lines marking the sides of his eyes and lips. His hair was also peppered silver and black. He greeted them briefly, before excusing himself to change and wash up before the meal.

Nishimura and another servant had loaded the table with small dishes filled with delicious looking foods. Natsuki thought her eyes might pop out of her head, and her stomach groaned in anticipation. They waited patiently for Shizuru's father to return.

_You seem to have outdone yourself this time Nishimura._

Shizuru smiled up at the old gentleman, who waved his hands exclaiming it to be otherwise.

_It has been a long while since Shizuru-sama has visited, and the first time she has brought a guest! If anything, this is not good enough!_

Bringing a finger to her lips, she glanced over the table. Seeming not to have found what she was looking for, she turned her head back up to Nishimura. Very sweetly she asked him if he happened to have made any Imobou. He grinned.

_I thought you might ask, of course.._

He was cut short from finishing his sentence by Shizuru's mother.

_Nishimura, you spoil the girl! Fujino Shizuru..._

Cutting off sentences seemed to be the theme of the evening, as the voice of Shizuru's father could be heard while strolling up to the table. Nishimura, still grinning, tip toed out back into the kitchen.

_Okasan, what's done is done. If she's spoiled it happened already, and there's not much to do. Kuga-san, is my daughter spoiled?_

Natsuki blinked stared blankly at the head of the Fujino-household.

_Etto..._

_ Hahaha, gomen gomen, it seems I have put you on the spot no? I should let you eat, then perhaps you will have more energy to tell us your thoughts hm? Osaki ni. Itadakimasu._

A chorus of itadakimasu rose from everyone around the table. Nishimura entered the room with a plate of imobou in his hand. Shizuru smiled from ear to ear, and thanked him wholeheartedly. Natsuki stared at the plate with such a puzzled expression, that Nishimura felt compelled to ask,

_Natsuki has never had Imobou?_

_No..._

_Oh well! It is a Kyoto specialty, and Shizuru-sama's absolute favorite. I hope you will try it, I'm sure Shizuru-sama would be willing to share._

_Ara... Nishimura-san, do we have mayonnaise?_

Shizuru thought to ask, upon hearing the words 'favorite food.' Her mothers eyes narrowed, and Natsuki thought for sure- appeared to be preparing to arm laser canons.

_Shizuru!_

_Wait! She's asking for me, I like mayonnaise.. hahaha... she's just asking for me!_

_Oh...well...Nishimura... do we?_

_I believe we do, I'll go see._

_Of course, Kuga-san can have mayonnaise. But you still spoil Shizuru too much, Nishimura._

Once again the old man grinned, and made his way to the Kitchen. Shizuru's father spoke again.

_Okasan, Nishimura always has. Do you remember the bird?_

_Ara... the bird. Natsuki... has Shizuru told you about the bird?_

_I don't remember hearing about any bird..._, Natsuki admitted.

Shizuru's mother shook her head, and then looked at her husband.

_You tell it Otosan._

_Very well... When Shizuru was about 7 years old, she found a baby bird out by one of the trees along the river. It was early spring, and there was still snow on the ground so she picked it up brought it home to Okasan in tears, asking if she could make it better._

_And I told her it was too cold, and the fall was probably too great. The thing looked half dead already, and who knows what kind of diseases it might have had!_

_Are you telling it or am I?_

_Sorry..._

_So Okasan tells her no, and she took it back outside. We thought she'd gotten rid of it, but about two weeks later she wouldn't get out of bed. She was crying, she wouldn't eat, she wouldn't stand up... she wouldn't do anything but cry and sleep for four solid days. She even missed school. Luckily Nishimura told us what had happened, or we would have wasted money on a doctor. She'd gone to him, and begged him to help her. Of course, Nishimura has never been able to say no to Shizuru, and agreed._

_And how can anyone say no to that face!_

Nishimura piped in, bringing a bowl full of mayonnaise with him.

_I built this little nesting box for her, and I brought her the things she needed to feed it. Kuga-san, you should have seen Shizuru-sama... you can't spoil someone with a heart like that..._

_But exactly what we thought would happen in the first place, did happen... didn't it Nishimura_

The old man's smile lessened a small bit, and his eyes looked sad.

_Sou..._

_The bird just wasn't strong enough to make it. It didn't survive. Shizuru was devastated._

Shizuru's gaze rested on her plate, as everyone eyes were turned toward her.

_Ara... such talk for the dinner table! I don't even remember this. Let's find a more appropriate topic, shall we?_

She looked up and around the table, smiling her gentle smile. Natsuki couldn't tell if she was lying about remembering or not. Her father studied her face a moment, and then complied.

_You're right. Let's hear a bit more about Kuga-san, and your lives at school._

The rest of the night went by smoothly. They spoke about teachers, exams, the different personalities of their fellow class mates. They laughed, and asked questions. Normal things, like a normal family. Shizuru was astonished and happy. She wondered how the night would have turned out if she'd come by herself. All her worries had vanished, and she hadn't even needed a cup of tea.

At one point, the conversation had strayed to Natsuki's past. With honesty and grace, the girl had explained that her mother had died, and that she never saw her father. Nishimura overhearing while refilling tea cups, had commented how very unfortunate it was. _If I had a daughter so beautiful, I would always want to see her._, he had said. Natsuki had shrugged, and said she'd always managed.

_Well you stay by Shizuru-sama, Kuga-san. If you don't have family, then it's good to have friends._

_Yea it is. I'm very lucky._

They praised her humbleness, and invited her to come back with Shizuru whenever she liked. Letting her know she was welcome even if she was in the area without Shizuru. It was an evening full of pleasant surprises.

_Thank you Natsuki_

Shizuru whispered to the girl on the car ride back to the hotel.

_Hnn?_

_Thank you for coming with me, I don't think that it would have gone as well as it did if you'd not been there._

_Oh... they seemed nice. But I guess they probably aren't always like that, if Nishimura said things were changing a bit..._

Shizuru nodded.

_I've never laughed with them before, or had conversations like that with them before...it was nice..._

_Yea, I never really had that with my family before either...so it was kinda fun..._

_...youkatta..._

Both girls fell quiet and watched the scenery roll by the windows of the car. Natsuki thought about the night's events. Her mind wandered to the story of the baby bird. _I'm the baby bird_, Natsuki thought. _I'm just like that...just as if you found me half dead in the snow..._, she said to Shizuru in her mind. _You took me in, and loved me in secret...trying to help me._

They said their goodbyes to Nishimura, and walked back to their room. Once again Natsuki slowed her pace enough to watch the other girl without being noticed. The feelings were warm in her chest, still tight, still ticklish, but for some reason they made her want to smile. Shizuru slid the keycard, and opened the door. A hand rested on the small of her back, pushing her lightly into the room. With a click, the door closed behind them. She felt a slight pull as her obi loosened, and then was tossed to a chair. Her yukata hung open, it was so light a color she had not worn anything underneath. Natsuki slipped her hands inside, and pulled the girl into an embrace. An obi the color of autumn leaves also slid to the floor. They began to kiss, and slowly shuffled their way to the bed as best they could while still facing one another. Natsuki's yukata slipped open as well. When they fell back on the bed, their warm bodies slid comfortably into place. Neither could articulate the feeling. That it felt 'right', that they 'fit', that if there was to be a place they could ever call 'home' this would be it... those expressions didn't seem to cover it. And so they didn't try. They just cradled one another in their arms, kissing and loving until what was left of their strength was gone. Natsuki used a free arm to wrap their yukata like a cocoon around them. She smiled softly, and nuzzled into Shizuru's neck. The girl's breathing was deep and slow, she was asleep. Eyelids heavily slid closed over pale green eyes, before she fell completely into slumber she kissed the older girl's neck and whispered.

_Thank you for taking care of me, I'm going to make it. I promise I'll fly some day, just for you._

* * *

_Author's Notes: _

Kamidana- literally 'god shelf', an altar for the home used in Shinto and Buddhism (though I think if strictly Buddhist only that the altar can be lower)

Imobou- A local kyoto dish featuring japanese potato (ebi-imo)

Osaki ni- said if you are to start to eat before anyone else has. It's polite to wait until everyone has been served, before beginning to eat. I actually didn't know this was a Japanese thing for a long time. When I was little I just thought everyone did it that way- At least until I got to eat with other families and realized it wasn't so. Even at restaurants my family does it this way.

Itadakimasu- akin to saying 'grace' before a meal


End file.
